A Christmas Surprise
by VisualIDentificationZeta
Summary: Harm/Jen SUMMARY: Christmas time is a time for family. Thus it's the perfect time of the year for two lonely souls to find each other and spend the holiday together, maybe even mark the beginning of their life together.
1. Chapter 1

TITLE: A Christmas Surprise

AUTHOR: Vid Z.

PAIRING: Harm/Jen

SPOILERS: 4 percent solution

TIMELINE: Christmas 2004

DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc of the TV show JAG are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this fic. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: the start is a short one, but the next parts are longer. But the real reason is because this part ends with such a dramatic and true statement that I just couldn't destroy it's dramatic effect by putting it in the middle of a fic. Come on, people, review and thus give me the motivation to continue posting (the fic is written, but I need motivation to post it... no motivation/reviews no updates). Taking 5 seconds to leave a review won't kill you.

SUMMARY: Christmas time is a time for family. Thus it's the perfect time of the year for two lonely souls to find each other and spend the holiday together, maybe even mark the beginning of their life together.

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1836 LOCAL

24 DECEMBER 2004

NORTH OF UNION STATION

WASHINGTON, DC

Harm looked morosely around his apartment from his spot on the couch.

It was Christmas Eve and the apartment was devoid of any and all Christmas spirit. He was alone, his mother and Frank were somewhere in the Pacific on one of those paradise islands (and he definitely regretted not accepting their invitation... but he'd had a feeling he should stay at home this time and look where his gut feeling had gotten him...), Grandma Sarah was spending the holidays with some neighbors, Sergei was in Russia with his wife and child and that was all there was to his blood family.

Mattie had returned to her father a couple of months earlier, Mac was still pushing him away and his relationship with Sturgis had cooled considerably, especially because the other man had had to return Harm's office to Harm. Such a meaningless thing, but for some reason it had just added to Sturgis' unexplained coolness towards Harm.

Bud and Harriet had their own family, which was now growing and because Harriet was so far along in her pregnancy with twins they were not even throwing their regular Christmas party this year to avoid putting too much stress on her.

Tom Boone was spending his holidays with his son and his family.

Even though the older man was now retired Harm just couldn't imagine himself spending holidays with AJ Chegwidden voluntarily, without receiving a direct order, not only had their professional positions before prevented them from becoming real friends, but Harm was still quietly resenting his ex-CO for abandoning Mac to torture and death, forcing Harm to resign, treating him like crap when he'd returned triumphant, and then again treat him like crap, shovel most of the Imes files on him, bury him under mountains of FOIA requests and so forth.

Cresswell... not only did Cresswell have his own family, he was also Harm's CO, the CO who had not made even a little effort to get to know Harm, something Cresswell HAD done with others on the staff, and to Harm the idea of spending even a little of his holiday with his CO just didn't sit right. Harm wasn't an ass-kisser and spending a holiday with his CO was supreme ass kissing. Right up there with naming his kid after his CO.

And Jen, the only other member of his small family which had lasted for those few short, but blissful, months, was doing her own thing, Harm didn't know where nor with whom. He ignored the pang at the thought of her spending her time with someone else and getting involved with some other man, they were just friends and there were the regs,... But a part of him was regarding her as his partner after having shared custody of Mattie with her and that part was raging at the thought of Jen getting involved with some other guy.

During the Pia fiasco Jen had mentioned that she would start looking for somewhere else to live, but they both knew that the bad neighborhood was just an excuse and not the reason.

Sitting on the couch by the living room window, looking outside and nursing his beer, Harm sighed miserably and wondered why did he always end up alone.

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	2. Chapter 2

As promised, a longer part.

Thank you all for your reviews, even though the previous part was so short - that's why this one is much longer to make up for that.

Once again thanks for your reviews, I hope I continue to justify your faith in me. Let me know what you think of this chapter... which means, REVIEW!

Or the next chapter gets it!

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For some reason he did always end up alone.

But with him it wasn't like it was with Mac, who chose to be alone, he'd been trying to have more, have someone, have a family, for the past few years, yet his every attempt had failed miserably, he always lost that person and was spending Christmas alone yet again.

There were two relationships in his past that threw shadow on his other relationships: Diane and Mac.

The only reason his relationship with Diane had failed was because Diane had been murdered. He knew had she not been killed she would've been his last relationship, because they would've gotten married, had kids, and stayed together for the rest of their lives. True, 48 percent of marriages in this country end up in divorce, but he knew with everything in him that he and Diane would've been in the other 52 percent. And since they would've gotten together he wouldn't have tried to find happiness with some other woman these last 8 years, all failing for one reason or another, a contributing factor being his still-strong feelings for his dead soulmate.

His relationship with Annie wouldn't have worked even had he not lied to her (and he still haven't forgiven himself for the simple fact that he'd lied) since Annie hated the Navy and had despised the pilot part of him. Jordan had not wanted who he was in entirety and Renee had gotten hurt because of this mess he had with Mac.

Catherine Gail had rejected him because she didn't want a man as messed up as Mac had made him, but especially didn't want a man interested in a steady relationship. The fact that his desire for a family had been so strong that he'd even fully willingly accept a ready-made family had turned her off so much had been a great testament to her abhorring the idea of being in a steady, committed, serious relationship with a man, to have a family with one man and be with him for the rest of her life. It truly puzzled Harm. Weren't women always whining about there not being serious men who want to settle down and have a family, complaining that the only thing guys are after is just sex and not relationships? Following that logic, any woman would with open arms welcome a man with a job, medical plan, savings, goodlooking, serious, committed, good and faithful and who wants to settle down. Especially those single moms who have trouble finding men, should theoretically be ecstatic to find a good man who would so gladly take a ready-made family for his own, accepting another man's children for his own. Yet, Catherine, a single mother, had rejected him for that precise reason...

Perhaps Catherine was a lesbian? It would explain much if not everything...

And Mac.... well, that relationship was only partially a victim of what Diane had been to/for him and more of who he and Mac were, how different they were, how neither of them was ever ready at the same time, the fact that they were incapable of getting along smoothly for more than a month... but mainly because of Mac's inability to commit to one man (to one man at a time and to commit at all), her love of playing the field, her love of mind games and her playing games with him. Fact was, he and Mac were not right for each other, neither in a friendship nor in a romantic relationship. In fact, he had never seen two people more incompatible in a romantic sense than he and Mac.

Yet, he had sunk more years into that sack with a hole in the bottom and made more sacrifices than he cared to think about, which was also the reason why he was spending yet another Christmas alone, no wife, no kids, not even a girlfriend.

Just he, a single bottle of beer and ghosts of the past, in the form of a black slab of rock with names on it, for company.

The last time he hadn't been this alone had been during Mac's engagement to Brumby because Renee had been there.

He looked desolately around his apartment, not having the strength to do anything about decorating it in a proper holiday fashion. He just didn't feel any cheer nor could muster up any feelings of joy.

After all, how could a man who had lost his family feel any kind of joy and happiness during the holiday that emphasizes the importance of having a family and makes those who don't have one into outcasts?

Christmas holds the highest statistic of suicide committed by lonely people. Much of the fault can be shoved on the society and industry by pointing out so loudly and annoyingly about this being the time for family, this trend and society's views in general making it seem as if being alone and with no family is a crime and something to be a ashamed of. Then there's also the ever-and-everywhere-present decorations that are many times way overboard to the point of making them look cheap and rubbing the lonely people's faces in the fact that there are happy families living in those houses.

And because of this pressure and the fact that everyone else is with their families, lonely people feel their loneliness much more acutely.

Being so fed up with the holidays and the annoyingly cheerful atmosphere that everyone, from regular people to businesses, were trying to force into themselves and into others, Harm had turned into something of a grouch this year.

For example, he'd set his CD player up with the anti-Christmas songs CD he'd bought, on repeat and had been playing them continuously for the past few hours. Songs like Monty Python's "Ho ho fucking ho!" and others.

Then there was the snow... actually the sludge, formerly known as the snow, and the ice,... Which meant no bike, no flying and not even the 'Vette. What it meant were slick, icy, dangerous roads, windows that had ice that had to be scraped in the mornings, there was also the cold and gloomy weather, with the low, gray and heavy clouds,...

Did he forget to mention the fact that he was lonely?

But, well, he _was _lonely.

41 years old and spending yet another Christmas alone... he should really do something about the pining he did over Mac and finally move on, cause otherwise he would die alone, whether that be next week or 30 years from now.

Suddenly a knocking could be heard and a familiar voice echoed through the apartment as his neighbor's head suddenly popped up from behind the now opened door. "Sir?"

As Harm smiled in greeting, his heart-rate picking up and warmth of happiness over the identity of the visitor and over the sole fact that there _was _a visitor washing over him, a pleasant thought shot through his mind. 'Perhaps, just perhaps, I won't be lonely this Christmas after all.'

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"Hi, Jen. Merry Christmas."

She smiled brightly at him. "Merry Christmas to you too, sir."

Harm frowned playfully then. "Jen, what did I say?"

Grinning impishly she repeated dutifully. "Not to call you 'sir'. Sir."

Harm shook his head in mock exasperation. "What I have to go through..." He sobered then. "What's up? I thought you were out with your friends tonight. Did something happen?" Worry immediately replaced all other emotions. Jen was the emotionally closest person to him now and he cared about her. He ignored the little voice at the back of his head that was laughing it's ass off at the understatement.

Sighing heavily she closed the door behind her, coming further into the apartment. "It just didn't feel right. Nothing's been feeling right since..." she stopped, hesitant to continue.

"Since Mattie left." Harm concluded softly and she nodded sadly. "I know. It's been the same for me too."

"She left a void behind." Jen whispered with pain in her voice. "Everything was going so great and then she just up and left to go back to her father."

"Yeah." Harm's voice was husky with tears fighting in vain to get through.

"I miss her." Jen finally said after a minute of just standing there, looking at each other, while at the same time trying to avoid the other's eyes, and sniffled.

"I miss her too." Harm watched mutely as Jen futilely tried to stop the tears that were determined to be released. When she failed Harm opened his arms, "C'mere", catching her as she willingly fell into his embrace and held her as she cried, shedding a lonely tear himself.

She needed this release of pent up emotion of the difficult past year. Harm silently relished the feeling of holding someone in his arms, the chance to give comfort and receive comfort from a single hug. He had one arm slung around her back, anchoring her to him, while the other hand was smoothing her long strands down her back. Sighing he gently propped his chin on top of her head and closed his eyes, enjoying the warmth and solidity of a warm, living, breathing, willing body of a person in his arms, breathing in her unique scent.

After a while her tears dried out and she reluctantly moved out of his arms, even though she wanted to stay there forever. But she knew it wasn't possible. Even if she wasn't an enlisted, Harm didn't feel that way for her. Not like she felt for him.

"Thanks." she murmured, looking down. He just touched her shoulder in a mute show of support and empathy.

They were quiet for a few seconds, a comfortable silence, during which they took a seat on his couch.

Finally she looked up and around, noting wide-eyed. "You didn't decorate."

Harm shrugged self-consciously. "No. Just couldn't get into the mood."

Jen observed him, then seemed to decide something and squared her shoulders.

"Okay, get dressed." she ordered him, completely dropping her customary 'sir', and went into his bedroom. Harm, bewildered by the sudden change in her, followed closely behind.

"What!?"

Jen started rummaging through his drawers and pulled out a sweater, a T-shirt and some pants. "We're going out to buy a tree."

"Hold on a minute there, Jen." Harm had regained his composure and was trying to get control of the situation. But Jen would not be deterred.

"I'm not letting you, or even myself, brood and wallow in self-pity, Harm." her use of his name brought a surprised look to his face. He couldn't remember when she'd last called him 'Harm', even though he had told her to call him by his name while off duty several times. "Yes, it's hard with Mattie gone and I understand that you must be hurt, because I am too. You've experienced nothing but pain and loss the past decade, for most of your life in fact, but I'm gonna be damned if I'll let it get us down. You're not a quitter and I'm not gonna let you become one. Everyone needs support and I'm it for you. I'm your crutch whether you want it or not, you have me and you're stuck with me, just as you are mine when I need you. Now get dressed so we can go."

Harm just continued staring at her as she shoved the bundle of clothes into his hands. This was a completely new and different side of the shy young woman.

"I'm gonna get dressed myself and when I get back we'll go." determined steps took her to the apartment's door and she vanished in a flurry of long brown hair and determined attitude, leaving the man staring after her.

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	3. Chapter 3

I hope you're not offended by me giving you a longer part.

If you are, just say it and I'll cut them down.

But definitely leave a review, cause I love them, even if it's to say 'thanks' or 'more' or even 'this sucks'. But if you say that it sucks at least explain why it sucks.

Thus, don't forget to review.

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Harm stared at the door for a few seconds, unable to shake off the thought that she looked damn hot when taking charge.

Thankfully he soon managed to get those unprofessional thoughts out of his mind.

Determined not to think about her in an unprofessional way anymore Harm turned and strode into his bedroom to change.

He couldn't help but wonder, as he changed his clothes, how could he have let her order him around like that and even obey her commands. _He _was the officer here, after all!

But then he admitted that he'd let her take charge because she was right. It wouldn't do anyone any good if they'd continue to mope around their apartments, depressed and sullen on Christmas. It wouldn't do anyone any good if they were both alone on Christmas, when they could be together and share company. No-one in the military would have to know they were spending the holidays together, it was no-one's business, She was right, they had to go out, go among the people, out of their apartments, together, and get themselves out of their funk.

Knowing how long women, even military women, take to get ready he quickly hopped into the shower, shaved, brushed his teeth, applied deodorant and aftershave; gave into a weird instinct and changed the sheets on his bed, putting a load of laundry into the machine. He was done by the time Jen entered his apartment again.

It did his battered ego and self-esteem good when he noticed she checked him out appreciatively. He himself couldn't keep his features impassive by the sight of her bundled up in her pants, thick sweater, coat and ski-cap. She was cute, all bundled up so, and so obviously warm.

The pants did hug her hips lovingly and the dark sweater brought out her dark eyes, while forming two large tents over her breasts, something Harm tried to force himself not to notice. He was already well too much aware of the fact that she was a woman, a very desirable and hot woman in fact, had been for years and he didn't need yet another reminder. He was all too aware of the regs standing between them, the regs that didn't care how close they'd gotten nor how great they were together, the regs that didn't care how lonely they were, when they could be together instead.

With the amount of time they'd been spending together and the way they'd just clicked, that first week they'd known each other, Harm knew they would've long since become a couple, gotten married and had kids, had there been no regs. Mac or no Mac.

"Are we going or you gonna keep checking me out?" her amused voice broke her out of his haze and he looked up to see an impish smile on her lips.

He couldn't help it, his own lips quirked.

Jen, seeing he'd finally broken out of his thoughts, turned on her heel and walked ahead of him.

Harm quickly recovered from the surprise of Jen being so forward, called out "But the view was so great!"

Locking up quickly he then followed her laughter down the stairs.

The drive to the mall was comfortable, both silently agreeing to forget their unexpected flirtatious bantering from before. Neither was ready to act on it, not yet.

Still, the tension had risen up a notch, making them each acutely aware of the other's presence, body heat, scent and even breathing in the small confines of the cockpit.

Pulling off the road into the mall's parking lot Harm let out a groan. The lot was filled, with cars constantly circling trying to find an open spot.

Waiting until there was an interval among the circlers Harm pulled in so he wasn't directly behind others, because that way he'd have lesser chances of finding an open spot.

Normally this search for spaces frustrated him, but now that he wasn't alone in the car he found it wasn't so irritating. Jen was a good companion and their conversation flowed nicely, with them discussing every topic they could think of.

Finally there was an opening in a parallel spot, right next to the curb. Jen noticed it first and alerted Harm to it.

"Hold on." he ordered and gunned the engine, noticing a soccer mom in a mama-mobil zero-in on in spot as well.

It was a showdown at high noon, a battle of horse power and driving skills.

Jen's eyes grew wide as Harm directed the Lexus towards the spot at 90 degree angle and she crawled back into the seat. "Haaaarrrmmmm!!" she warned.

"Trust me." Harm murmured, calming Jen down. Just as they were only a couple yards away from the spot, the soccer mom following extremely closely behind from their right, Harm instructed to Jen "Hold on!" and let off the pedal, pulled the handbrake forcefully and with the other hand abruptly turned the steering wheel to the left. The tires screeched and the large vehicle skidded forward turned sideways. The wide tires, producing a lot of friction, quickly reduced the vehicle's momentum and it came to a stop with a gentle bump against the curb.

Just a second later the mama-mobil stopped parallel to him and Harm turned his head left only to meet the mom's hateful glare. He shrugged, wincing as the mama-mobil accelerated with a squeal of tires. The 5 teenagers on the back seats clapped and send him thumbs-up as they moved past him. Harm looked to his right to meet Jen's wide gaze, her heart still beating fast. He immediately grew sorry, having forgotten that Jen was not used to driving with someone who could handle their vehicle to such a high degree. "Sorry, Jen, but desperate times call for desperate measures. If I let this opportunity pass, there's no telling how long we would have to look for another spot."

Jen swallowed "It's okay, Harm." Letting out a shaky breath she tried to smile "Great driving though."

Still feeling the adrenalin surge through her veins, Jen got out of the car and had to quickly lean back against it as her knees buckled from adrenalin.

By the time Harm had joined her she had regained control of her lower extremities and they started off, with Harm subtly adjusting his long confident stride to Jen's shorter, and now more unsteady, gait.

By the time they'd arrived to the part of the parking lot where the Christmas-tree-retailer had set up camp she was back to normal and with her face glowing with excitement she immediately threw herself into searching out the loveliest tree.

Harm just stood back, smiling unconsciouly and enjoying her delight as she let herself fully soak in the holiday spirit. It was so rare that he got to see her smile, to see that joyful, happy expression lighting up her beautiful features, cheeks glowing healthily, the sparkle in her eyes and the full lips spread into a smile. Jen had always been exquisitely beautiful, in that quiet, impish, warm and intelligent sense, but happiness made her several times more beautiful. He liked to see her happy, he liked to _make _her happy. Over the past year he'd done a lot of that... intentionally tried to make Mattie and Jen happy, make them laugh, enjoy themselves. In their happiness and enjoyment he found his own happiness and personal fulfillment. Now, with Mattie gone, Jen was the only person he had left anymore and he'd decided to make her as happy as his rank and station would allow. All the while quietly hoping she wouldn't abandon him too, leaving him all alone once again.

As he waited for Jen to find 'the one', one of the salesmen joined him, attracted by the vision of loveliness.

Within ten minutes Jen found the perfect tree, 6 feet tall, densely-branched, thickly-needled and healthy.

"What do you think?" she presented it to Harm, who smiled and gave her a thumbs up. He turned to the salesman to pay for the tree.

"Your wife has excellent taste, sir." commented the man as he took the money, making Harm stiffen at the words. But figuring that explaining their real relationship would take just too much time and would unnecessarily confuse the man, along with putting them in danger of anyone from the service overhearing, or at least that's what he told himself, Harm forced himself to relax and nodded.

"That she has."

Jen, herself not having been willing to dispell this wonderful christmas illusion of togetherness and domesticity, had not even thought of trying to correct the salesman and secretly thrilled at the thought of being Harm's wife. The fact that Harm hadn't set the man straight either furrowed her brow and when he'd finally answered she looked up at him. Immediately upon locking eyes Jen broke the lock and looked away, blushing heavily. She didn't know whether it was the season or the cheery artificially created/forced atmosphere or was it years of being fully aware of just how much her feelings for the wonderful man living next door to her had grown, together with the constant temptation and torture of spending 24 hours per day, 365 days per year, within 100 yards of him without being allowed to do anything, but she knew that her emotions were pretty raw now and wasn't confident in her ability to control them, nor to prevent giving them away.

Her reaction to Harm's affectionate and warm look had just proven that point.

Harm took the money the man gave back. "Thanks and merry Christmas!"

"You too." the man nodded and then at Jen "Mrs." and went away.

Harm glanced at Jen. "Ready to go?"

She grinned. "Yup."

"Okay. Here." he pulled the car keys out of his pocket and handed them over, then grabbed the tree and hoisted it over his shoulder. For a second he thought back to how different Mac had been from Jen the one time Harm had offered to carry her tree to the car. Mac had become all offended and haughty by the insinuation that there wasn't a thing she couldn't do and had grabbed the tree to carry it herself. The whole episode had ended with Mac lifting the tree and spraining her back because it was too heavy for her (for some reason she had insisted on an 8 feet tall tree). In the end Harm not only ended up carrying the tree to the car, but also had to help Mac to her car too.

Some people just can't accept their limitations.

On the other hand, Jen knew and admitted the tree was too big and too heavy for her and let Harm carry it, instead of following Mac's example by going all Marilyn French or Wendy J. Murphy on him.

There are things each gender is better and worse at than the other. For example, men will never be able to sing as well, nor manipulate their voices to such a degree and hit such high notes as women; while on the other hand men will always be stronger and capable of lifting much heavier loads than women.

That's why nature created both genders heterosexual, because in relationships a particular weaknesses of one partner is compensated by their partner's strength in that department, and vice versa, partners complimenting each other. Heterosexual unions achive a balance that homosexual never will. That's why men are men and women are women, and were supposed by nature to mate only with a partner of the opposite sex.

Jen hurried ahead of him and secretly tightened her fist around the keys that were still warm from his body and an unbidden thought crossed her mind that she wished he would warm her up with body contact too when they got back home. Flushing, she was glad that her back was turned to him so he couldn't see her face, because she was sure he'd be able to read her thoughts.

While walking behind her Harm's gaze was drawn to the magnetic movements of her glorious hips as they moved gracefully beneath her clothes.

Yup, it was definitely a good Christmas. He just didn't know it was about to get even better.

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	4. Chapter 4

Thanks for your reviews and Merry Christmas!

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Even with her bundled in those thick clothes it was clearly obvious that there was an amazing female body hidden beneath all that cloth, with curves he would happily explore for the rest of their life together, if only they'd somehow start such a relationship. Over the last few years he'd come to realize that she was the kind of woman with whom a relationship and life together in general would be amazing. Not to mention healthy and compatible.

Jen had the kind of beauty younger men usually undervalue. She was highly intelligent and had an inner strength and beauty that truly radiated from her. Even though they'd had similar childhoods, but not exactly the same, Mac and Jen had turned out much differently.

Among the differences in their characters was the way they were in relationships.

A relationship with Mac would no doubt be like a roller-coaster ride, full of adrenalin and passion, but just as roller-coaster rides that kind of relationship would be short and empty as well. Mac was a temptress, she exuded sex; hot, rough, wild sex. Those musky, spicy perfumes she preferred to wear were just one indicator. Harm had no doubt that sex with Mac would've been amazing, but sex was all it would amount to. Mac was not the type for long term relationships. Her marriage, failed after just a few years, her failed engagement and constant moving from one man to another, doing everything to keep one man interested while she was in relationship with another, never committing to the one she was with, always keeping her options open, were testament of Mac and long term relationships not being compatible. What Mac represented was a one night stand, or a casual sexual relationship with no strings attached at best. With all her many issues and demons, her strange views on life and way of life, Mac was not a successful-mariage material.

Jen on the other hand... a relationship with Jen would be a strong one, a stable, sure flow like the Amazon. While not as adrenalin-filled like a relationship with Mac, a relationship with Jen would be nonetheless exciting in it's capability to fulfill and complete a person. The constant and unfailing love, trust and devotion he was sure she'd give her partner was more important, more valuable and precious and fulfilling than any adrenalin-filled good time Mac could ever give him or any other man. Just like sex with Mac would be hot and wild, with Jen it would be love-making in it's simplest, purest form. No matter whether slow and gentle or fast and rough, Jen was contrary to Mac in the fact that to her sex and love were not two different things. Although Harm had never had the honor of making love to her, he knew the young woman well enough to know that she would never be shallow, she would never have sex with someone without being in love with them, without being in a relationship or starting a committed, longterm relationship with that man; she would never have sex just for sex' sake, it would always be about love. Jen wouldn't be able to help it, she'd show her feelings through how she made love.

Contrary to Mac's openly sexual, seductive Playboy-league physical-attractiveness temptress, Jen had the whole girl nextdoor thing going. Mac was drop-dead gorgeous, the type to have men drooling with tongues on the floor, there was no doubt about it. She was a fabulous example for why Persian women have the reputation of being some of the most beautiful women in the world. But no matter how sexy or hot or attractive Mac was, there was something about Jen that drew Harm in more. She was shy, but she was open and friendly and funny, a good company; she was strong, but she was shy; she wasn't the flashy sex-permeated hotness drenched with sex and danger that Mac was, who no doubt had no trouble picking up men at bars with it, but Jen's body was the type that would definitely draw second glances if she'd ever allow herself to show off her figure.

Harm had occasionally seen her in tight T-shirts at home, not to mention those weird new uniform blouses that made Harm wonder how she could even breathe in those damn-tight things, which to his embarrassement had caused many an impure thought and hot dream. He always felt angry at himself after them for dishonoring Jen by turning her into a lust object, even in his dreams. She was so much more than just an amazing body, and no matter how amazing and seductive her body was it was overshadowed by her inner light. Harm had only a few times before met a person as pure and good as Jen. Even after everything she'd seen, gone through and done she still had that purity and innocence about her. Not that of a child, she was neither naive nor blind to what the world was truly like, but the kind a person who had always tried to do the right thing, and if they hadn't been able to, they knew they had tried everything they could to avoid doing the wrong thing, can have.

With everything she'd done for him, without protest and many times without even having to be asked, doing on her own initiative, never asking anything in return and especially not demanding something back, Jen was the best friend he'd ever had, always willing to help out and never needing to be asked twice.

Just as he'd told her just eight months ago, he didn't know what he would do without her. She'd become an integral, essential part of his life, of his family, unwittingly she'd become his center, the one keeping him sane in this crazy, treacherous and dangerous world.

She always had a warm, gentle, reassuring smile for him when everything seemed to go wrong; the right words when he needed a pick-me-up; and Harm knew her arms would've given him the power to take on the whole world all by himself had they been allowed to seek and offer the comfort a hug can give.

Harm was absolutely sure, with everything he had in him, that Jen would some day make the best mother possible and he already envied the lucky bastard who would be lucky enough to have her for his wife and the mother to his children. Harm had never hated the military and it's stupid regs more than he did when he allowed himself to muse on what could've been had there been no frat regs.

Jen was maturer from other women her age and even more mature than many women 10 years older, yet she wasn't boring nor too solemn nor without a sense of humor.

Harm had matured a long time ago and during the past 10 years he'd also developed a very clear idea of what he wanted in his life. For the past 10 years the yearning for a family of his own, for a stable, loving home with a wife and children had been growing stronger, putting it's mark on every assessment of possible partners he'd made.

He had hoped to have that with Diane, but his hopes, along with his heart, had been crushed with her senseless and cruel death by the man who hadn't been even worthy of the air he'd breathed. He'd given it a try with Annie, hoping to get a family with her and Josh, but even without that stupid mistake of lying to Annie and taking Josh for that Tiger Cruise, one of the few huge mistakes in his life, Harm now knew that it never would've worked out with Annie, because she hated the Navy and flying too much. And he could never work out with a woman who hated what was a part of him.

Which is why it hadn't worked with Jordie either. Jordan had loved only the decorated lawyer in him and truthfully he'd still been mourning Diane then. He had believed Jordan loved him enough to understand he had to close that chapter of his life before he could move on when he'd left for flying.

He'd been wrong.

Jordan hadn't understood him and neither had Mac, who hated him for his decision more than his own girlfriend had and still resented him for it to this day.

The day that he'd proposed that deal with Mac he'd done it with a bated breath, trying to insure he'd finally have what he wanted, a family, with the woman who had then been his best friend then. For five years after that he had secretly hoped they would make a go of it, try for a baby and succeed in a relationship, but not only they hadn't tried to have a family, but it ended looking like Mac was determined to sleep with any other guy interested in the mean time and now he was also aware that they'd never work out even if they did somehow get far enough to try for a kid.

He'd hoped for a chance at family life with Renee, but had realized early on that she wasn't the right one for him. He had just been so lonely and hurt by Mac jumping into bed with Brumby that he'd decided that a relationship with a wrong woman was better than no relationship at all, no matter how aware he'd been of his reasoning being incredibly stupid.

No matter what his reasons for staying in the relationships that had been clear would fail had been, Harm had always treated his women right. Even if he hadn't been truly in love with the woman, he had loved them and he had treated them with care and respect and had never betrayed any of them. He had never been a womanizer, no matter what Mac had accused him of on USS Wake Island.

Contrary to what Mac had accused him of on that and other occasions Harm was not commitment phobic. That was Mac's trait, not his (every man Mac had been involved with on the show had accused her of that). The reasons he hadn't made the full commitment to a woman yet were that the woman he HAD inteded to do it with, commit himself for the rest of his life to was then murdered; and the other woman (Mac) was always too busy with other men, along with the fact that they never seemed to be ready for a relationship at the same time and that now he knew a relationship between them would never work; and that the women he'd been involved with had turned out the wrong choices.

Every person in the world had made a wrong choice in a partner at least once in their life and Harm was no exception. And just because he hadn't again met the right woman after the right one had been killed didn't mean that he was commitment-phobic.

And now, the woman he would gladly commit himself to was out of reach due to the regs. His life really sucked.

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	5. Chapter 5

I'm ashamed to admit the last update for this thing was on 22nd. I hope that won't stop you from still reading and reviewing this. Thank you.

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Finally they arrived at the Lexus and Harm put the tree down.

Jen looked at the conifer thoughtfully, obviously thinking furiously about something. Harm just leaned against the vehicle and waited until she thought it through. He didn't have to wait long.

"Harm?"

"Yes?"

"What about the decorations?"

His brow furrowed. "What about them?"

"Do you have enough of them? I mean, it's a pretty big tree..." she said softly, remembering the tiny fir Harm had had the previous Christmas.

He had been so down by the court having refused his petition for custody that he hadn't even bought a tree. And then when he had gotten Mattie, through one of Mac's rare nice gestures, the tree retailer had only had that one tiny, poor tree left. And because of all the excitement over the preparations for the custody case he had completely forgotten to buy decorations. The last time he had put up a tree and decorated it and his apartment had been while he'd still been with Renee. He just hadn't had the will or energy, nor did it make sense to him, to go through all the bother when it was just him and no-one else.

Now though he'd found himself wanting to put up a tree and decorate the apartment, only to realize he didn't have anything to decorate with.

He nodded. "You're right. Jen, unlock the car, I've got an idea."

Jen looked at him, but followed his instructions. "Take down the seats while I make room for the tree in the trunk." he said and Jen immediately begun taking down the seats.

She looked at him confused as to why wouldn't he put the tree on the roof, then smiled as it dawned on her. They were in a mall's parking lot. They have christmas decorations in the mall... If they tied the tree to the roof of the Lexus someone would probably steal it, so they would lock it in the car while they were in the mall.

Soon they were done and the tree was locked safely in the large car, one of the rare occasions Harm was glad to have a Mama-mobil.

Grinning they turned towards each other and high-fived.

Harm put a hand on the small of Jen's back and started guiding her away. "So, what do you say we buy ourselves decorations?"

"I say, lead on, McDuff." Jen grinned at him over her shoulder, secretly enjoying the contact and leaned further into him, to soak up his heat. Hey, it's cold in December!

Harm grinned at what was quickly becoming one of the best Christmases of his life.

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The crowds were thick, just as one would expect on a Christmas Eve, but Harm and Jen were in too good a mood to be bothered by this.

The selection of decorations was unfortunately pretty poor, which made sense, but they still managed to find a few nice ones for a reasonable price.

Both of them were struck by the thought that these would be _their_ decorations, they were there together, they were picking them out together, they had picked out the tree together,... it definitely had a very strong domestic flavor to the whole thing. They were living in two apartments that were so close together they could almost pretend it was only one apartment, they'd bought just one tree and they were buying decorations for just one tree and one apartment...

Neither voiced it, but they liked the thought. Warmth and pleasure rushed over each of them at the idea of them being in a relationship so strong and far progressed that they were buying only one set of decorations and tree, which looked like 'forever' and a total long term commitment, marriage. When they locked gazes each knew what the other was thinking and they just smiled shyly at each other.

They knew they were blowing this out of proportions, it wasn't as if they were buying a car or a house together! But neither had ever done this with an adult of the opposite sex before so they were succeptible to such thoughts. Both of them had been lonely for quite some time, which only made it worse.

Propinquity is a powerful thing. You have two lonely people, who'd been attracted to each other from the start and have built a good friendship, and if you have them spending time together in a way couples do, it's only a matter of time before they will give in to their feelings and start fantasizing about a life together, perhaps even try for that life...

Harm was looking at the not-too-gaudy-but-still-gaudy golden balls in the dark red box and remembered the decorations he, his father and his mother had made together all those decades ago. Even those these had been made by a factory and were glittery and shiny, the ones he had made with his parents had somehow looked much better, more beautiful. He'd always thought that making your own decorations with your family was a lovely thing and decided that he'd make it into a tradition when... or more like, IF he ever had a family.

While Jen was occupied with looking for the tree-top decoration he hunted down whatever tinsel he could find. He also managed to secure two toy planes for little AJ and James T. Kirk... er.. James Kirk Roberts. Poor Harriet, sometimes he wouldn't wish Bud on his worst enemy. No wonder she was now ruling Bud with an iron fist.

When Jen returned they together picked out a couple of toys for the not-yet born Roberts twins, to make up for the baby shower they'd missed because of Mattie's return to her father, but avoided commenting on the fact that only couples give one set of gifts.

Finally done they took their place in the line at the check out and talked softly about Mattie and when they would go out to see her.

After half an hour they were finally there and their purchases were being rung up.

The very young and very perky cashier smiled at them and chattered while she processed the credit card Harm had given her to pay for their purchases, even though Jen had protested, wanting to pay half the amount. Privately Harm suspected the reason for the cashier's perkiness were large amounts of coffee. "Congratulations, ma'am, sir." when they looked at her oddly she nodded at the toys for newborns. "You must love each other so much to have 4 kids, and baby twins at that. If I can allow myself the comment, Mrs Rabb, you look amazing, getting your figure back so soon after giving birth. It took me *years* to lose the babyfat after my last one."

Harm just stared at the chatterbox in disbelief. How could anyone say so much in such a short time, but still speak clearly?

That wasn't what puzzled him most, though. This kid was a mother herself? And to more than one? She looked like she should still be in High School JUST flirting with the boys and definitely not doing more and having several kids.

Yet, he wasn't oblivious to the fact that yet another person had mistaken them for a married couple, this time for even a married couple with kids.

Were all these people on acid or were he and Jen just giving off the vibe? Were they really that transparent with their feelings? And if perfect strangers could see through them could people at JAG too? Were there already rumors floating around the base about them? Why hadn't Chegwidden said anything yet? Did that mean they had his approval and silent permission? Were they willing to test if that was true?

Harm was already getting a headache from all this and the only thing holding it at bay was the thought of a nice quite evening at home with Jen.

With a deeply crimson face Jen thanked the girl for the compliment and leaned into Harm, having noticed his incredulous staring at the cashier. "She's at least 23, Harm."

"Oh." mouthed Harm in response. 23? There could be only one explanation for how he could think she was too young. 'Shit, I'm really getting old.'

"You're not old." contradicted Jen vehemently and Harm started. Had he said that aloud? He didn't think so. Jen probably just knew him that well. "You're just... seasoned." she finished with a giggle.

Harm glared at her "I'm gonna get you for that one."

"Promises, promises." she rolled her eyes playfully and grabbed a bag on the way out.

Harm chuckled, enjoying their playful banter and grabbed the other bag, after pocketing his credit card.

He could've easily caught up to Jen, but for some reason he rather walked behind, enjoying the tantalizing way her hips swayed (he didn't know she was doing it on purpose) and the sight of her tight ass encased in those flattering pants.

It was already too late, even if they knew what they were doing, it was like a runaway train. There was only one direction this would take and nobody could stop it, even if they'd want to.

But who said Harm and Jen would ever want to stop this train?

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	6. Chapter 6

Thanks for your lovely reviews. Well, here's the next part. I hope you like it. In any case, let me know.

This is where things heat up a little.

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Harm was untying the tree off the roof when something cold and wet hit him on the back of his head.

He froze in shock, still not being able to believe what had just happened.

Finally he turned around and caught sight of Jen standing about 30 feet away from him, holding another snowball and grinning mischeviously.

Seeing she had his attention she swung her arm to let the projectile fly again when he finally regained his senses and ducked just in time. The snow made an audible splat as it hit the car's side window.

Quickly gathering snow himself he packed it together and rose flinging the ball at Jen, hitting her in the shoulder. The fact that his target was a woman was affecting his targeting. Had he been throwing a snowball at a man he would've been targeting his chest area, but with a woman he couldn't, since he knew that area was very sensitive. He also threw it with much less force so it didn't hurt her. Which made the whole fight look more playful in a sensual way, than in a game-playful or fight-playful. An outside observer might've called it "flirting", "foreplay" or "courting".

With a wide smile of joy and laughter Jen was just packing together another snowball when she spotted Harm making his way towards her scooping up a large amount of snow along the way, his intentions clear.

Jen threw her snowball, but in her rush to get away it missed it's mark, and when Harm started running she shrieked and took off.

With his longer legs Harm quickly caught up to her and spotting a huge pile of, thankfully pristine, snow where he knew there was nothing beneath he tackled her, sending them flying.

Jen landed on her front, with Harm on top of her in a way that prevented any of his weight hitting her as they impacted the snow, and squealed again when she felt Harm shoving the cold, wet snow down the back of her shirt.

Harm was laughing, enjoying their game, and so didn't notice Jen turn around beneath him until her movement made him lose his balance and he toppled forward, landing face first in the pulverized frozen water next to Jen's neck.

Laughter quickly left him, but was replaced by Jen's when she realized what had happened.

It quickly left her too though when she realized that due to her movement he was fully on top of her, her legs spread wide and crossed over the back of his knees, anchoring his groin directly to hers, tightly. Had they been naked when they'd fallen in the snow, there was no doubt Harm would've slipped inside her when she'd destabilized him and made him fall on her, since his crotch had landed in that exact spot.

They were laying in the perfect example of a missionary position, just that they were still wearing clothes. Their sudden awareness of their bodies pressed together so intimately and in a position only lovers achieve, chased away the laughter and replaced it with something more intense and scorching. Noting her abrupt silence Harm slowly pulled up and their gazes locked, the rest of the world melting away.

They were laying in the snow, their faces an inch away, staring entranced into each other's eyes.

Each of them was completely captivated by what they were seeing in each other's eyes, their feelings raw and exposed for the world and each other to see.

A year of living as a family, of knowing each other better than anyone else knew them, of bonding over games of Scrabble, shared meals, late night conversations after Mattie had gone to bed, joint enjoyment of music, comfortable and fun-filled meal preparations, moments of just being next to each other, just sitting and enjoying the other's presence, the fact that the other was alive and well and there with them,... all this went through their minds and as if they had an invisible spiritual bond they moved at the same time and finally their lips touched and fireworks exploded behind their eyelids.

They'd had other lovers before, they'd kissed other people before having kissed each other, but never had it been like this for either of them, so filled with emotions, so powerful, so consuming and fiery. Harm had never felt like this, not even the few times he'd kissed Mac had been anywhere as good as this.

Their wonderful little world was then rudely interrupted by whistles and cat calls. Harm and Jen broke apart and looked up, still in their prone positions with Harm's body on top of Jen, his body in the safe cradle of her spread thighs, his hardness with his small involuntary flexing of his hips now rubbing against her wet heat, separated by only a few flimsy layers of cloth. When Harm raised his upper body to look at their voyeurs his lower body pressed against Jen's, his hard length pressing even more into the hot apex of her thighs, making her moan again. Thankfully their observers didn't hear her, but Harm did and the sound made his erection throb in his boxers.

There was a group of about 10 older kids standing nearby, some of them cheering them on, while one stood with her arms crossed, muttering in disgust. "Old people kissing, gross! One seriously scarred teen here!"

Harm and Jen looked at each other, embarrassed flushes creeping up their cheeks and Harm gently dropped his forehead on Jen's and kissed her quickly, chuckling. Then an obnoxious teenage voice cut through the air. "Get a room!"

They chuckled. "You think we embarrassed them?" Jen grinned up at him.

"Yeah, I'd say so." Harm grinned back and kissed her again, purposely making ridiculous smooching and slurping noises, bringing a chorus of "EWWW!" from the peanut gallery.

After having pulled himself to his feet Harm pulled Jen up as well, bringing her body flush against his. With a mischevious twinkle in his eyes he turned and, slipping his arm around her waist, guided them back to his car.

While he was unloading the tree from the roof of the Lexus, with Jen waiting for him near the door with the bags, he smiled inwardly, acknowledging that the damn snow was good for at least one thing.

Finally he had it down and carried it into the building with Jen holding the door open. Loading themselves into the rumbling elevator, Harm leaned the fir into the corner and turned towards his... What was she anyway?

Lover? Not yet. 'Not yet' because it was obviously going to happen. If not today, then soon. They'd just proven they had too much chemistry and feelings between them and now that they'd let them out for just a few seconds, they'd never be able stuff them back into that box again. There was only one direction they could take and that was forward.

Girlfriend? Well, they obviously hadn't talked about it yet, having given into their feelings only minutes ago, but neither of them took relationships and sex lightly, so he knew that this was no fling. He was way too old for flings and he'd never use nor hurt Jen that way anyway, she simply meant too much to him. He had no clue yet as to what they'd do about the regs, but he knew that they would be together no matter what, even if he had to resign and be Jen's Navy-husband.

That gave him a start. He was thinking about marriage already? With them acting on their feelings for the first time only minutes ago?

Well, he WAS 41 and if he still wanted to have kids who wouldn't be made fun of by the other kids that their father is actually their grandfather he would have to have them soon. Which also meant that if he and Jen were serious about starting a relationship and would not sweep the previous makeout sessions under the rug, then that was the course they would naturally plot.

And honestly said, Harm had no issues with the idea of Jen being his wife and the mother of his kids. She'd proven a perfect match for him as his companion and would most definitely be an amazing mother, proof of which he'd seen many times over the last year. Besides, with the person she was, the way she'd help raise their kids, the intelligence, sweet personality and physical beauty that they'd inherit from her, they'd be almost perfect people.

Ignoring his musings Harm leaned in and sealed their lips together. Jen's soft moans told him of her enjoyment and he could feel answering moans rising up his own throat.

All too soon, for the first time ever, the elevator reached their floor and the jar of the stop broke Harm and Jen apart.

Jen blushed prettily and smiled while Harm turned around a little dazed and picked up the tree. Jen took the bags with the decorations that she'd dropped to free her hands so she could hold him to her, and they left the car.

Harm carried the tree into his apartment and then went to look for the stand into the basement, while Jen went to her apartment to have a quick shower and change into some clean clothes. The ones she had on were soaked through. Especially her panties.

And not by snow...

When he returned, Harm took a shower and changed clothes as well, pulling on clean sweat pants and an old USS Seahawk T-shirt from his first deployment there about 14 years ago.

The only thing (or person in this case) missing so he could start putting up the tree was Jen.

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	7. Chapter 7

I'm getting back to writing this fic, hopefully the muse won't run off on me again, especially since it's exam period.

Thank you all who followed this fic, I hope you'll still leave a note, so I know you're reading this.

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The door opened then, without knocking Harm noted with approval, Jen was finally coming to realize she had the right to enter without asking permission; and Harm was almost knocked on his ass when he saw her.

True, she was dressed in sweat pants as well and some old worn T-shirt, which on the other hand showed just how comfortable she felt with him and how much she trusted him, not feeling as if she had to impress him. It was an old T-shirt, worn, the fabric thin, a little big on her. But what made Harm's jaw fall and his heartbeat speed up was the fact that even with the T-shirt being so big it still had two large bulges in the chest area, a solid proof of how large her breasts actually were. With no conscious effort at all Jen achieved the same effect in an old big shirt other women have to wear skin-tight, small t-shirts for, to emphasize their chests. And the best part was they were completely natural, not fake like Mac's.

Jen paid no attention to how the shirt made no secret of her considerable assets, it was not something new to her, nor something she flaunted.

Harm had been constantly half hard since their makeout in the snow and after a brief thought about making the problem go away he had finally decided against jerking off in the shower. Now, seeing her nipples, erect from her still lingering arousal and poking against the fabric, his dick quickly responded and started filling with blood again. His pants were soon too tight, something that had not escaped Jen's notice, because her eyes were immediately drawn there.

It had escaped Harm's notice though, because he was too busy checking Jen out.

He had never been much of a breast man, but Jen was making him a believer.

He was a man after all and men like it when a woman is nicely endowed in the right places, just like women like men muscular and endowed in other places. A man claiming he doesn't like it if a woman has full breasts and a healthy lithe figure is lying. Or is one of those feeder weirdoes.

Then there was the addition of still-wet dark hair clinging to her neck, cheeks flushed from her shower, a sparkle in her eyes and Harm would've given a lot to have been allowed to join her in her shower. Or just watch. But then again, they probably wouldn't have come out in any reasonable time had he done that. He namely had a lot of fantasies about Jen and the shower... You can't avoid having fantasies and some pretty hot dreams about the only woman in your life and that's why Jen was starring in his regularly, because she was the woman in his life.

She grew shy then, uncertain of how to behave or what exactly they were now. Nothing had been discussed over the change in their relationship, not even what they would do about the regs, yet they had moved forward, of that she was sure. With any other man she would've been sure, because he would've been dragging her to the bedroom by now, but Harm was different.

He was an officer and a gentleman and even though lately he hadn't been acting like an officer should she knew he would always be a gentleman.

But the thing was Jen wasn't sure she wanted him to behave like a gentleman. There was a part of her, not a small part at that, that wanted him to just grab her and drag her off to the bedroom.

"Shall we?"

Nodding she confirmed "We shall."

With a small hand-axe Harm went to work at the bottom of the stalk until it was thin enough for the stand.

Once done he situated the tree in the corner of the living room. Digging out the decorations Harm and Jen set to work, with Jen decorating the lower half of the tree, while Harm's job was the upper.

Harm's body was on overload, standing so close to Jen, smelling her intoxicating scent and watching that beautiful ass when she bent over to reach a branch was having his hormones in an uproar.

Finally the only thing left was to put the star on the top, which was Harm's task. Jen plugged in the lights and, stepping back to take in the whole tree, Jen felt relief flood through her. Such a close proximity to the man she loved had had her blood pounding in her veins, her skin had felt electricized and she'd been so highly attuned to him she'd felt his breathing, his movements as if he'd been pressed tightly against her.

Observing as this amazing male specimen didn't even have to stretch to put the star on top of the tree she let out a little sigh of contentment. This was the best Christmas she'd had in decades, even if Mattie wasn't there.

Turning around Harm saw the small smile on Jen's lips and he could feel his own lips curve. Walking over to stand beside her he slowly, hesitantly, put his arm around her shoulders as they watched their first tree flicker and shine. When Jen leaned into him he completed the move and pulled her into his side.

Looking down her met her dark eyes and, in what was the most natural thing in the world, lowered his head to take her lips gently with his.

Jen eyes fluttered closed when she saw what Harm intended to do. When they met in a gentle kiss she felt a moan tear out of her chest and simultaneously they turned their bodies into a full embrace. Jen snuggled further into him, her hold around his waist tightening as Harm's large strong arms enclosed her fully.

They became completely lost to the world, the fire of their earlier passion consuming them again, when Jen felt something hard hit her in the back. Before she could take a look at the offending object she felt herself being lifted and then deposited on a hard surface.

Breaking away from Harm she realized she was sitting on the kitchen island and that somehow, someway each of them had lost articles of clothing while they'd been kissing.

Harm's T-shirt was nowhere to be seen, revealing the delicious hard chest she'd been running her hands all-over just seconds ago.

Things were getting hot and heavy very fast, but for some reason Jen didn't feel the need to pull the hand-brake.

"Are you sure, Jen?" Harm rasped out then, unconsciously mimicking her thoughts "Once we do this there can be no going back. Are you sure you're ready, that _we're_ ready?"

That was the heart of the matter. Were they ready for this step?

Gazing into Harm's formerly aquamarine orbs now dark in desire, Jen looked deep into her soul.

They'd known each other for exactly 3 years and had never even dated. The sole reason being the frat regs, Jen ruefully acknowledged to herself, the frat regs they were now quite clearly willing to break without a second thought. But wasn't what they'd been to each other more than mere dating? Even though they hadn't known it they'd been a couple. Every waking hour had been spent in each other's company, at work and when they got home. With Mattie chaperoning they'd had dinner together every evening, a tradition that, Jen only now realized, hadn't ended once Mattie had left. Their evenings had been spent in each other's company and they'd parted only when the time to go to sleep had come.

Mattie... that's another thing. She and Harm had practically shared custody of the young girl, had been her parents for months and it had worked fantastically. Heck, they might as well be married!

Add to that three years of friendship and they had the firmest base for advancing their relationship anyone could wish.

Therefore there was only one answer Jen could give Harm.

With serenity and conviction shining in her beautiful dark eyes Jen nodded, changing their fate and putting them on a track to a life that was so much better than anything they'd dared wish.

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	8. Chapter 8

I'm not sure how many of you still remember this story, but I decided to finish it. The next chapter is the last one.

You've probably noticed the rating changed from M to T and that is the sole reason why it got unstuck. I had many problems with writers' block over the smut I had originally planned, it's the reason why the fic was on hold for so long.

My final solution, as simple and hard as it was, was to simply cut out all the smuttiness and make this fic more tame. I'm actually relieved over this, since believe it or not I never liked smut in not-PWP fics because it distracts from the story.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this new chapter and please alert me if the previous chapters have anything sexually explicit that would negate the new T rating, so I can fix that chapter.

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Somewhere between the island and his bed they both lost their clothes, leaving them gloriously naked for the first time.

They paused in their frantic pawing, taking the time to drink their fill of each other's bare bodies and wonder at the completely new direction their lives had taken.

Nothing had been discussed yet, but they both knew this was no one-night stand or a short affair. It would be something meaningful and, as soon as they could find a way to work it out, something they could build happiness and future on. Fact remained the only result of a joining of Harmon Rabb Jr and Jennifer Coates could be a serios relationship.

Reaching out with his hand Harm opened a drawer of his nightstand, pulling out a foil packet.

Jen shook her head, enclosing his large hand with her two smaller ones.

"No, Harm. I don't want anything between us, not our first time, I want to feel _you_."

Harm stopped, his brow furrowing in concern "Are you sure? What if..."

She cut him off "I'm sure. Besides, it's a safe time for me..."

Unmoving Harm spent a minute only searching her eyes. When he saw she was serious he nodded, putting the unopened condom back to where he'd found it.

Jen's dark eyes grew shy and her cheeks reddened as she pleaded "Just be gentle, okay? It's my..."

Harm nodded, aquamarine orbs serious "Don't worry, Jennifer, I'll go slowly."

He took her lips in a passionate kiss just before he joined their bodies and souls for the first time, swallowing Jen's hiss of pain as he slowly tore through the flimsy bit of fleshy obstacle.

When she finally nodded okay he resumed moving in a dance as old as time and all too soon they were crying out their triumph to the heavens.

Harm collapsed forward onto her, unable to move and Jen just slung her arms and legs around him, content to have him stay inside her.

As Harm shifted slightly to allow Jen to breathe she tightened her hold on him, stopping him from leaving her and before they knew it they drifted off to deep, satisfying slumber still together.

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Waking up to Harm still in the territory previously uncharted Jen could feel, though asleep, he was ready for another round.

Exploiting her new freedom she woke him up the way she'd always wanted to, with long, luxurious kisses. The couple quickly lost themselves in their desire and love.

Taking a shower together went well until things got heated when they were drying each other up.

Ending up in bed again they christened the fresh sheets they'd put on it before having taking their shower.

Basking in the afterglow they lied side by side, sharing a pillow and body heat as they conversed in murmurs, making hopeful plans for the future.

An hour later Harm suddenly rose from the bed with a groan and took Jen's hand, pulling her up with him. She stared at him bewildered at his course of action.

"Harm! What are you doing?" she complained, glancing at the warm bed with longing. It was Christmas day and she'd hoped for another two or three hours of just laying around in bed, occasionally making love.

"Get dressed." Harm said and kissed her passionately, cutting off any response. When he let go she was dizzy from lack of oxygen, but mostly from the passion that had sent her blood racing "There's someone I want you to meet."

"What? Who?" she stared at him baffled, but he turned her around and sent her on her way with a gentle whack on her bare tight behind.

Turning around to see him getting dressed himself she huffed in disappointment, but started hunting around for her clothes. The clothes she'd put on before the world had completely changed on her.

Not finding her panties she had a mind of going commando, but then looked down, seeing the evidence of their love making it's way down the insides of both her thighs.

It was a visible reminder of the fact they'd begun a whole new life, a reminder of the fact she was a woman now, initiated by the only man she'd ever loved.

She grabbed the nearest cloth she could find, her old T-shirt, and wiped herself off as best as she could, fully planning on having another shower after they finished whatever Harm had in mind.

But until then she'd just revel in still feeling Harm on her skin and inside her. It was like he had branded her as his and Jen could find no fault with that.

Suddenly a hand holding a fresh pair of string-waist boxers appeared from her left and Jen took them gratefully with a look and a kiss of thanks.

She pulled them on, tied the string around her small waist and then pulled on her sweat pants.

"You can borrow a T-shirt and a sweatshirt if you want." he offered, seeing her soiled shirt waddled up and waiting to be washed.

Jen smiled shyly in thanks and opened another drawer, pulling out one of his older T-shirts that had shrunk. Searching deeper in his wardrobe she grinned with glee as she pulled out his old Academy sweatshirt.

The novelty and euphoria of finally having the man she'd wanted for so long made her giddy, playful and daring.

Determinedly she ignored her bra, knowing every man appreciates the knowledge unfettered breasts. Jen slipped the clothing over her head, fully aware of Harm's heated gaze aimed at her large, heavy breasts, their size pronounced when she lifted her arms over her head, lifting them as well.

Oh, she knew she was a tease, but the freedom of being allowed to do things like this made her infinitely playful.

If the passion in Harm's eyes was any indication, she'd be "paying" for teasing him as soon as they came back from where-ever they were going. This prospect wasn't something she'd ever complain about and could honestly not wait. It was sure to be very pleasurable.

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**Reviews are love.**


	9. Epilogue

**I added AUTHOR'S NOTES at the ending to publicly address a few good points made by jojobevco in her review, so even if you already read this chapter, I suggest you read them.**

I'm really glad you guys are still liking this story, even though it completely changed style and abandoned it's smutty future.

Huge thanks to all for sticking with this story and giving me the moral support needed to finish it.

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Seeing the foil package Harm had intended to use, lying on the nightstand, Jen picked it up. Rolling it between her fingers she was struck with jealousy at the thought Harm had had some other woman in his bed recently, even as it confused her since she knew for certain there had been no woman for Harm ever since he'd returned to JAG. She was about to throw it away when the numbers flashed in the light, making her stop her arm and bring the package closer to inspect it.

Flummoxed, Jen checked again.

Huh.

That couldn't be right. Could it?

The condom was expired and had been for over two years. With the long life of condoms Harm must've had it for a LONG time.

So, definitely no other women since they'd met, the possessive part of her retracted her claws.

He probably didn't even know he had expired condoms, so even if they had needed to use it, it wouldn't have helped much, only hindered them in enjoying themselves completely.

Just one more point for starting a relationship with someone you've known for years, Jen realized, since she did not have to worry whether Harm was clean or not, or if he'd accidentally used expired condoms with other women. She knew he hadn't, she knew he couldn't have had caught anything or knocked up a woman lately because she'd known him for a while, knew him as a person and was very well acquainted with his personal/sex life.

Unlike a woman who picked up different men in bars, Jen could stake her life, her health, her career and everything she owned in the claim that Harm had no STDs and that she knew his sex life.

Curious what was holding Jen's attention, Harm approached his new lover and noticed the object in her hand. His forehead furrowed as he tried to remember the last time he'd had sex. Ah, he remembered... With Renee before his midnight swim in the Atlantic - they'd always used condoms as a backup insurance because Renee had wanted to become a mother on her terms, when she was ready professionally and not before then. That meant only one thing... Damn.

"Good thing we weren't about to rely on those. Now that I think about it, those had to expire a while ago." he remarked, cringing.

"Yeah." Jen echoed, holding the shiny package in the air between two fingers "It expired in 2002."

Harm winced and Jen giggled, threw the condom into the paper/plastic waste basket and strode over to him, throwing her arms around his neck and pulling him into a kiss so hot it made them both horny again.

Breaking off, Harm ignored Jen's whine of protest "We'll continue this later, I promise. But right now we've got something else to do."

Jen pouted in a way that almost broke Harm and it didn't help she started tugging him back to the bed, but with a last desperate stand he resisted.

"We don't have the time right now cause we have to get going."

Sighing in disappointment, Jen released him, pouting for real now "Where are we going anyway?"

"You'll see." he smiled secretively.

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The longer they were driving the stronger Jen's suspicion became, finally being confirmed when they stopped at the Mall.

Hesitant eyes turned to Harm "Um, Harm? I'm not sure..."

Harm looked at her, amused "Don't worry, Jen, nobody's here at this time, you can go in dressed like that."

"That's not what I meant... Your father..."

"I didn't get the chance to go last night since we fell asleep. And Iiii... uhhh... I want you to meet him." he looked uncomfortable for a second "Well... you know what I mean."

Jen's eyes softened as she looked at him "I'd be honored, Harm."

He gave her a slow, relieved smile, before getting out of the car. Striding over to her side he found her already waiting for him and with a smile they intertwined their hands together.

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"Dad." Harm announced, one finger hand moving across the letters of his father's name "I want you to meet someone special. She's... well... she's made my life a who lot better this past year. And now we're... we're together. This is Jennifer Coates."

Turning to Jen where she considerately stood behind him he extended a hand, prompting her to join him. Taking it, Jen allowed him to pull her to stand next to him.

"Hello, Mr Rabb. My name is Jen and I love your son." Jen didn't dare look at Harm. It was probably a bit premature to go professing her love, but for some reason she couldn't be anything but honest "Thank you for bringing such a wonderful man into this world, I don't know what I would've done without him. You don't have to worry anymore, I'll take care of him from now on."

Harm pulled her to him in a tight embrace, the rush of emotions he experienced at hearing her words notifying him of one of the reasons he'd been able to move on from Mac "I love you too."

Jen's wet, dark eyes turned up to look at him, shining in happiness. Throat clogged up with emotion she couldn't say anything so she just hugged him tigther, burying her face into his bomber-jacket clad chest.

"I know we still have to talk to the Admiral and we don't know how that'll end, if by the end of it we'll still be in the Navy and not either brought on charges or thrown out, but what do you say about moving in with me for the time being? We can start looking for a house after we know where we're at?"

Jen froze at those unexpected words, her heart beating a million miles a minute. Had he really just said what she'd heard him say? Move in together? Or was she sleeping and reliving another one of her dreams?

"Jen?" his worried eyes gazed down at her.

Getting control of herself she answered Harm by pressing her lips against his, robbing him of air.

When she let go he was just standing there with a glazed look in his eyes. Jen ran her fingers down his cheek tenderly, looking at him with her heart overflowing with love and cupped his cheek, saying one word only "Yes."

That brought Harm out of his daze and he looked down at her "Yes? You will?"

She grinned blindingly "Yes, I will."

Harm let out a whoop of delight and grabbed her into his arms, laughing happily. He spun her around and when he put her down he noticed a few people around looking at them as if they'd gone mad. Harm grinned "She said 'yes'!"

A few of them clapped politely, though disinterestedly, they were strangers, didn't know these two people and thus didn't really care, while others quickly gathered their kids to them and moved away from the crazy man, watching him warily all the while.

Harm didn't notice, he was back to hugging Jen who buried her face into his chest and chuckled "You're gonna be embarrassing me a lot, aren't you?"

"Oh, yeah, definitely." Harm agreed, his arms around her. "Just wait till we have kids to know real embarrassement. So you'd better get used to it."

He nearly bit himself into his tongue when he noticed just how far ahead he'd jumped with the mention of kids. What better way to scare someone you've just gotten involved with into running away than by mentioning having kids together?

He really should've given Jen credit, though, for knowing she wasn't like the one specific woman. Jen wasn't offended by the prospect, it was what she'd been hoping for, for a long time, ever since that Christmas he'd come after her to the bar.

"That'll be no problem as long as I have you." she assured him and looked up into his eyes seriously. "I love you, Harm."

Even though his trademark smile told the story of his happiness so he didn't have to say the words, he still said them. Without any hesitation.

Making him realize the reason he'd never been able to say them to a bitchy Marine was simply because she'd never been the one meant to hear him say them.

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Meanwhile, back at what was now Harm and Jen's apartment, one handy-dandy memory-card-instead-of-magnetic-tape-based answering machine came on to start recording a message.

"Hello, Mr Rabb, this is Nurse Braddock from Bethesda, we have a LtCol Sarah Mac..."

At that exact moment snow became too heavy for a tree-branch, snapping it like a twig. The branch fell onto a powerline, severing it and causing the whole neighborhood to lose power, turning the new digital-instead-of-magnetic-recording machine off before it could save the message, effectively deleting it from memory.

And Harm and Jen could live out their life in peace and happiness, without ghosts of Harm's past interfering in their life.

Just as their first Christmas together had started off with a nice surprise, their life together would have many more of them.

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**AUTHOR'S NOTES**: Since it was pointed out to me it's rude to leave you hanging about the **phone message**, I'd like you to know what it's about without changing the chapter because I'm quite satisfied with it in it's current condition. Anyway, as it's noted in Part 1 in the story's head (under SPOILERS), this story is tied in with the **episode Four Percent Solution**, aka **Christmas ep 2004**. This story actually begins the **evening before that episode** and continues to just the start of it. **The phone message that was interrupted by the blackout** and thus deleted in it's entirety because memory cards are not the same as magnetic tapes and thus save a message only when it was completed (which means Harm will not know someone had even called him until he gets back to work) **is the message that notified Harm of Mac's car crash in Four Percent Solution**. Which means I** changed the timeline and canon by having Harm NOT run to Mac's side in the hospital, since he doesn't even know she's there**, which was DPB's tool to have Harm strung along further by Mac and the fans strung along with him. Thus since Harm, instead of being notified of Mac's condition and thus doing the foolish thing of pledging himself to her again, he started a relationship with Jen, thus Mac's condition doesn't affect him directly anymore.

**As for Mac being arrested**: the suggestion holds merit, since Mac WAS driving dangerously/recklessly by dedicating herself to the radio instead of paying attention to the road, especially considering the driving conditions, so you can assume Mac was then visited in the hospital by the police who acted appropriately to their juristictions. Since I don't live in the US I don't know what such an offense would merit, whether an arrest and charges brought against her or just a traffic fine, I leave you to decide what happens to her, since it would disrupt the flow of the story too much if I forced that part into this chapter.

Thank you.

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THE END

REVIEW!


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